Perantau Kecil Yang Sedang Homesick
Hi, again!
After showing you the pic,you'll knoww what i'm gonna talk about. Yep, it's about family.
ohh anyway, people in the pic are my family (of course), the baby boy is my youngest niece, the little girl is my oldest nephew. actually i have a lot of niece and nephew. here's the pic, fyi this pic was taken in Idul Fitri last year, my one of fave moment all the time.
My youngest nephew
cute, isnt she?
Well, the total is six, but i will have a new niece! niece or nephew i forget haha the thing is, there will be a new cutie baby in the big family!! i'm so excited omg, although i'm in thousand miles away but soon in the next holiday i'll come home and see them again yuhuuu. Ok back to the story, you must be wondering why i have a lotta kids at house, thats because i have a lotta sist and bro, too. I have seven siblings, five sisters and two brothers, five of them have been married, so no wonder right ehe. And yes, i'm the youngest or most people call it "anak bontot". Y'all might think that having a lot of siblings is really annoying, and yeah we're in the same boat. But it's not that bad tho, moreover when your siblings have a job and earn money as well. Your walking ATM isn't only your parents but your older siblings too hahaha, they take control the house sometimes but that's ok because i have my back up team (re: my mom and dad).
People said that being the youngest child is so fun because you can get all you want, but it doesnt work for me, not that much. Probably what i've got is much more than what my siblings got when they're in my age, But we're in a different generation dude and plus, i have them now, to support my financial condition. Somehow i feel a bit evil here, but it's fun!
Back to the story,
How my mom raised me isn't like most parents raise their child, why i said so.. Because when i was in high school my mom didn't give a lot of chances to hang out with my pals, why? The reason is my mom didn't want me to waste my money on hedon things lyk go to movie theater, karaoke, or just spending money on things i don't really need lyk nail paints, makeup, too much shoes. She didn't allow me going out a lot, never allow me to going out at night. But as the time pass, i can feel the change, my parents aren't that protective anymore or isn't lyk how she used to be. She's more flexible now, she allowed me to go out with my friends at night and i even came home when they have fell asleep, such a stubborn teen. And it got worse in senior high school, but i know my limit, i know what's good and what's not, so i'm effing safe because i was surrounded by some good friends. Well that's about my mom, i miss her so damn much, how she hugged me when i fell asleep, how she woke me up while kissing my forehead, how she wrecked the whole house and was mad at all people in the house just because one trouble. I miss her so bad, i miss her scent and everything about her.
And about my dad, he didnt talking too much, i don't know but i'm not that close with my dad. He's different with mom, he's boros kinda person wkwk. That's why everytime he got his salary, it's sabotaged by my mom. He has his own world, he likes watching tv, so much, he's a silent typical daddy, ohh and he's a sleepyhead hahaha he's a hardworker, he's a bit careless because he's always lost his money, he gets older and bit older now, no wonder because he's a grandpa now, he really loves his childs his grandchilds, he always gave us money eventho all his money are controlled by mom. Unlike other families, my family is hardworker, in work-days my house is quiet because they're all busy at work, only my niece and nephew left and my aunty always visited to look after them and plus My house is always messy, and noisy, but those things make it unforgettable and imperfectly perfect, thats what i miss the most. Every family has their own things, and mine too. I miss every single of them. I used to have that kind of life, so many people around, in the house, and now..
Merantau, di kota metropolitan, meninggalkan keluarga, sahabat, teman-teman, kamar, rumah, kota tercinta. Kemudian, tinggal di kota yang jauh lebih hectic dan ramai. Lebih ramai bukan berarti tak merasa sepi, bahkan terasa lebih sepi jika ragamu bernaung disitu namun tidak untuk jiwamu, you're just not belong there.
Yang tadinya kau punya orang tercinta to get your back, dan sekarang harus berada jauh dari mereka.
Yang tadinya kalo mau hedon terus dan nongki terus, dan sekarang you can't always do it, you are not that close to people to sleepover with, tell all your problems to, and even hangout with. You might have friends, classmate, but you still feel like a stranger. You just dont found a click to them.
Yang tadinya you're the cheerful girl,
Suddenly you turn into a different person, more introvert, less talk and more sad thoughts.
Kau harus terbiasa, terbiasa dengan kehidupan yang baru, jangan beradaptasi terlalu lama. Saat orang lain got their new buddies, you still have no one to lean on, like literally lean on. i have my bestfriends, yes i do but sometimes we need that one friend, who can literally be in our side, someone to talk to, who has shoulder to lean on. Isn't it pathetic? Go to places by your self when you aren't used to it then you choose to lock your self in kosan with laptop in front of you and find something interesting in it. I'm not just accustomed to something like this, i'm not that introvert kinda person.
Well, hold on fah, it's only one year, even 5months left. You're not the only person who feel this way, life isn't always fun, not as fun as youtube-stuff, not as fun as high school.
Go big, or go home.
Be a new Ifah, who can handle all the hings by her self. Why not? it's one more year to 20year-old. Be mature, fah.
Well, that's all.
00.27 A.M
Too early Monday-morning
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